Oh dearie me. July was supposed to be the month I sorted out all the logistics of my post-grad life, but there’s still so much up in the air. At the end of June, I mentioned how I had decided which city I’d be moving to, but I kept going back and forth about it this past month. In the end, I decided to stick to the city I had chosen: New York City! I haven’t locked down an apartment, but my mom may be flying in to NYC to help me with that process, which I would be eternally grateful for, because I feel so lost (and so poor). I also don’t know whether I should hire movers to move my furniture over, or whether I should just leave my furniture in Philly (I have friends I could give it away to) and buy new furniture in NYC, though I am quite attached to much of my furniture. And I’m still on the job search. I had one interview this past month that went well, but I won’t be going through with that job, and I have another interview later this week.* At this point, I just want to have a job I can be certain about. For my sanity!! I really hope that I can lock down that job, then put all my focus on the apartment search and moving, and once that’s sorted, I need to make a plan. For life. Ya know, the works.

*I would like to share both interview experiences on the blog eventually, like how I shared about my first technical interview, but I may not get around to it until things settles down in September. I know that people always say that they’ll do things later when they’re less stressed or less busy and they never get less stressed or less busy, but I really think that I’ll be good in September, because even if I don’t have a job locked down, at the very least I’ll have moved and settled in NYC. And whilst we’re on that topic, sorry I haven’t been very active in the blogosphere this summer. I had taken a blogging break during my last month of senior year and had hoped to get back into it this summer, but this summer has taken more out of me than anticipated.

June was the month of planning and July is going to be the month of doing. I’ve made some big decisions in the last few days about post-grad life (primarily where I’ll be), and I still have more big decisions to make (primarily what I’ll do, aka a *job* but that’s too scary of a word to use). I don’t want to say anything more until these decisions are finalised and realised, but hopefully it’ll all be sorted out by the end of July, because the lease for my current apartment is up mid-August. Thoughts of the future have been fogging even the happiest moments this summer (i.e. “Will I have the privilege of knowing such happiness ever again in my life??”), but I’m hopeful that everything will work itself out, not in the sense that I’ll be living my best life, but in the sense that life is a journey, not a destination, and that’s completely okay.

It’s finally summer break! Is it still called summer break if I’m out of school now? It’s been an eventful month, starting with the stress of finals, followed by the elation of graduation, and now I don’t know how I feel. I don’t have any real plans this summer (just staying in Philly until my lease is up mid-August), so I’ll have to have a lot of initiative to get my life together. To encourage productivity, one of my summer goals is to get out of the apartment every day, and one way I’m motivating myself to do so is with a-photo-a-day challenge, which I created a new Instagram account for. I just started towards the end of this past month, and if it turns out to be something I want to continue, I might share it on the blog!

The last month of college has been absolutely nuts, and for the first time in forever, I took a step back from the blog. I definitely needed it, because I couldn’t have given the blog the time it needed, and I would have been further and further disenchanted by my careless blog posts. But now that I’ve finished off college (though graduation isn’t until this weekend), I’m back to the blogosphere! Even though we’re midway through May, this April recap is very much needed, especially since I haven’t been doing my weekly check-ins.

The school year is wrapping up quickly. I’m trying to hold time in place, but it keeps slipping through my fingers. Every time I get a moment to breathe, I can’t help but scramble and work ahead to try to make my last few weeks of college easier. And every time I think it’s getting easier, every time I think it’ll be okay to give myself a little time to relax, it all seems to catch back up to me. Every moment is about chasing the future, and the present is left wheezing; I haven’t found time to reflect on the past, not even the past week.

It feels like two weeks have passed, but it’s only been one! This past week was packed. I’ve been saying yes to almost everything, including meeting up with friends, eating out, and going to events, because I figured that even though I could use that time for productivity, I probably wouldn’t, and in fact, filling up my schedule would most likely inspire me to be more productive with the time I had left. Which turned out to be true. But I think I went a little overboard with the fun and the treating myself, and will have to scale back a little to find a happy medium.